In the pit...

When I was a new Christian I had this burning love for the Lord...I have lost that
I'm not sure when it happened and what happened along the way...but I feel empty
My Bible is dusty
I'm no longer involved with BSF
We go to church once a month...at best
the fact that my kids hate the nursery is no excuse not to go
I'm only being held accountable by one person...and she's about to give up on me

you see, this has happened before...

Why hasn't God given up on me? Why doesn't He just kick me to the curb and move on? With the lack of conviction in my heart for the above listed items--why doesn't He leave me in this pit where I belong?

I'm in charge of two little hearts whose soil is fertile...but the seeds have not been planted
I'm responsible to sow the seeds
to show them Jesus...
and I haven't
their place in eternity rests in my hands

I know my place in eternity is secure...but theirs isn't. Why don't I feel like time is of the essence? Maybe because I wasn't saved until I was in my 20's? Still...that's no excuse. They need to see me in God's Word...breathing it, living it, being it.

When I was a new Christian I could not get enough of Bible study, women's conferences, Christian concerts...feeding my soul

All that has taken a back seat...to what?
worldly things...
things that won't get me (or my girls) to Heaven
things I can't take with me
things that cause me to stumble
and when I stumble, He is there...but I don't thank Him, I don't ask Him for help
when I stumble I'm on my knees...the perfect place to pray...but I don't
if I keep stumbling, I will eventually lose sight of Him all together
this pit will get deeper and darker

Why does He keep pursuing me? What am I worth to Him....
He who is EVERYTHING and I who am nothing

How many times will He forgive me?

“But where sin increased, grace increased all the more.”
Romans 5:20

How long will he keep pursuing me?

"While you were doing all these things, declares the LORD, I spoke to you again and again, but you did not listen; I called you, but you did not answer."
Jeremiah 7:13

"As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness."
Ezekiel 34:12

I'm a work in progress...will be until the day He calls me home...but I can do better

Lord...please reignite my love for you...

my soul is starved...

Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven."

Molly-isms

~she pats things...like when I'm holding her she pats my back, when she is playing with a toy she pats it, when Tim is holding her facing him, she pats his face....you get the picture. It's so sweet. She does it very gentle and lovingly :)
~she YELLS...very loud. I think she likes the sound of her own voice
~now that she has hair, she is starting to pull it and play with it while nursing...a lot like Emma did
~she has two distinct laughs...one genuine belly laugh which doesn't happen very often and another sort of chuckle laugh--which we get all. the. time
~she pinches...oye...whenever her hands are on me she is pinching me. I know it is just her way of feeling things...but boy oh boy--she has given me bruises. I know this is something that really bothers me now, but when I think if it years from now, I will get a smile on my face.
~she does this thing when she is sitting on or next to you and you are not looking at her--she leans forward and gets as close to your face as she can and stares right at your eyes. It is too funny!

Sometimes I just have to type this stuff out so I don't forget it. Things I was so certain I would not forget with Emma have just gone out the window in the last few years. I'm so thankful I started this blog when I did...and I can be reminded of all those Emma-isms...and now Molly-isms

My girls...

Just a few phone pics...

At Pullen Park after Molly's 9 month check up

At the park down the street. Emma finally figured out how to operate this :)

At another park and I was trying to get pictures of the girls...it was hard...Molly was chewing on her thumb and she looks just like a little thumb sucker here. Those little fingers, the cheeks.....LOVE it all!
...and do you see Emma behind her...she was rolling all over the grass. Silly monkey!

Proverbs 31:10 ~ life verse

I was inspired to pick a life verse a while back for Emma. I chose Proverbs 31:10....now that Molly is here, it applies to her as well. I hope to one day paint it on the wall in their room or print it out big for them and frame it. Something so they always see it when they wake up in the morning.

Molly : 9 months

saying: "ma, ma, ma", "ba, ba, ba", "da, da, da", and "na, na, na"



eating: everything and anything. She prefers feeding herself table food but will sit and eat some pureed veggies/fruits if it's shoveled in fast enough. She still breast feeds 4-5 times a day and 1-2 times a night.
moving: she is not 100% mobile but is perfecting her scooch. It's not fast at all, but I will set her in one spot and a minute later she will have traveled several inches.
teeth: she has two on the bottom and is working on all 4 on the top. One has poked through and that is the one to the right of center. She makes the CUTEST face feeling it!



She has perfected the pincer grasp and moving an object from one hand to the other. She is waiving and clapping. She loves banging two things together to hear the sound they make. She likes to stay busy on the floor with toys. If you give her a basket, purse or anything with stuff in it, she likes to explore it and empty the whole thing one item at a time. It's a great way to entertain her if I need a couple minutes to do some things. She loves hearing anyone sing and will often "sing" along and clap her hands. Her Mooma and Doodad who watch her a couple times a week are very much music people--so she is exposed to it a lot! She has just started standing on her feet (with help). It only lasts a few seconds--but it's better than nothing. She does not "walk" with help but it will come. What I learned from Emma--and Molly is doing exactly what Emma did--is that a baby perfects either gross motor or fine motor sills first. Molly, just like Emma, is working on those fine motor skills before moving on to the gross motor. I say the longer she stays in one spot the better!



She is learning how to use her voice to get her way. She's a sassy stinker. She will protest by screaming if we take away a toy she is enjoying or set her down when clearly we were supposed to keep holding her! Silly us.....She is VERY vocal and loves to talk--just like Emma. She has started smiling more at strangers and not showing too much anxiety with people she doesn't know. Maybe we have turned a corner!

She wears some size 12m clothes but is mostly in 18m. She is in size 4 diapers.

Stats:
21.9 lbs.
28" tall
44 cm head circ.

Here are Emma's stats from 9 months. They're almost identical. Up 'till this point, Molly weighed more than Emma...but now at 9 months, Emma has 5 oz. on Molly. The tides have turned...

Molly is such a joy and delight to our family! She makes me want a third.... Oh...and her eyes...they're GREEN! I keep waiting for them to finally turn brown...but they haven't yet! I am hoping and praying they stay this color. They are beautiful. Her hair...it sticks up just like in this picture. LOVE! I believe it's coming in a little lighter than Emma's.

Happy 9 months my Molly-Bear...we love you more every day! You're a beautiful baby girl inside and out...

mild New Year's day

New Year's day was pretty mild here in NC....the 60's. Knowing that the next few days were going to be cold, we went for a walk on the greenway right down the street from our house. Last minute I grabbed my camera....just in case.

I'm glad I did. I love my little family :)

Hi, Bella!

This picture of my #1 melts me...I love her "real" grin...not her "cheeeese" smile, her sunshine-highlighted hair, her happy eyes, the angle and the crisp-ness.....everything! and this is with no edits.....love it!

I mean really....COME ON! How can you look at these two girls and not fall instantly in love?
I know I do over and over every day...

Christmas 2011

aahhhh.....Christmas 2011.....full of fun, family, food and firsts (for Molly at least) :)

Every year is the same...we start out Christmas Eve day with my mom and sisters and then finish off the day with Tim's mom and family. We headed over to Aunt Jess' in the morning for some cousin time. All that was missing was Aunt B and her crew. Jess' house has some great light for some great photos. Here is our morning in pictures...

Aunt Jess's tree

L to R: Jack, Molly, Emma, Matt and Lorelei....cousins!

The crew. Sweet bunch, huh?

Molly's first ever present...she didn't get it...but Emma was more than happy to help her little sister out.

Emma's doll from Aunt B!

You want to know what's fun? The post present opening playing with of all the toys...that's what's fun!

Gram (my mom) got Emma and Lorelei matching outfits. Aren't they cute?!

Molly snuggles for Gram! About the only way she will let anyone else hold her these days...when she's sleeping! I pray she grows out of that quickly.

Cookie making time. This is the first time we made cookies for Santa with the kids....I'm sure it will be a new tradition. They LOVED it!

After Jess' house we packed up our goodies and headed to Tim's mom's (Mooma) house. After singing happy birthday to Jesus, Uncle Bill read from Luke 2.

...and we opened presents there too...

oh...what's this...Santa came to Mooma's house a day early?....what could be under this sheet?

It's a pink pedal car!!!!!!!

~side story--we were in Tuesday Morning several weeks ago and there was this pedal car. Emma HAD to HAVE it! I have never seen her beg for something in a store like she begged for this...note to self. So...Christmas comes around and Emma decides to ask Santa for the pedal car...and wouldn't you know it but Tim's mom found one on Craigslist! Pretty cool, huh?

It's cute...not exactly the plasma car that all the other kids got this year for Christmas...but it's cute. I can picture a photo shoot using it as a prop right now, though :)

Then Christian took Emma on a ride in his Hummer....which went a little faster than the pedal car.

The kids played while the adults played Wheel of Fortune on the Wii :)

Then it was time to head home to tuck ourselves snugly in bed...and wait for Santa.

....who came!!!

Emma and Molly Christmas morning 2011

What a perfect Christmas all around. God's blessing and provision was seen in wonderful ways and I feel so blessed to be sharing this time with my sweet family and my two most favorite girls in the world.

I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas celebrating Jesus' birth!

...when Love came down...