...but I got this instead. It was somewhat of a mountain top experience.....I consider a mountain top experience similar to the day I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.....I would call this a "hill top experience" :) Here I go putting my heart on my sleve again.....If you make it all the way through this blog, more power to you!
So lately I have been struggling with:
keeping my house clean
keeping my car clean
what food I feed Tim and Emma
my BSF leadership responsibilities
having my daily quite time
worrying when I hear Emma on the monitor in the middle of the night if she is sick
worrying about Emma getting sick (I think I have a phobia)
feeling like I am being selfish–I am being selfish
my responsibilities at work while I am at work
making sure I give 110% to my marriage
motivating myself to do all of the above (the ones that require "doing")
knowing I want/need to change but don’t do it
So I sort of had two "come to Jesus" moments last night. One during the lecture in BSF and the other on the way home....and they sort of go together. All of the above I think about at least 2 times a day....they are things that just pop into my mind and I think about how I will fix them...and then they are gone. We are in the book of Leviticus in BSF right now and last night we were in Chapters 25-27. One of the things I got from the lecture is EVERYTHING IS GOD’S....everything...that means my house, my car, my BODY, Tim and Emma’s bodies, my MARRIAGE....EVERYTHING...so I need to look at it as I am leasing these things from God. If I were leasing an apartment, wouldn’t I make it immaculate the day I move out to get my security deposit back? Why yes I would. So, really, if I am leasing all of the above from God...I need to maintain it as if God is going to just drop by my house any day and "check in"...right? YES! I think the condition of my house, body, marriage, etc., needs to reflect my relationship with God. Right now if an outsider was looking in, and using the above statement as a "scale"...they would probably think I had NO relationship with God when in reality I do. So sad. The second "come to Jesus" moment I had last night was in the car on the way home from BSF. I always listen to Dr. James Dobson Focus on the Family. It was on finding the right mate, etc. He made one statement that really spoke to my heart. He said, "if you are right with Jesus, everything else will fall into place". Ah ha!! This totally applies to everything for me right now. If I re-devote all my time and energy to loving, worshiping, getting to know Jesus...that list above will work itself out. If Jesus is #1 in my life He will take care of everything else. He will give me the motivation I need. He will give me the time I need. He will give me everything I need. Really, He has given me so much already...but the more I give to Him, the more I will get from Him. And I would say I am giving Him maybe 25% right now....I need to be giving Him 110% (just like my marriage).
Oh the places you’ll go (I read this book to Emma).....Kid you’ll move mountains! So, today is the day, you’re off to great places you’re off and away...your mountain is waiting. So get on your way....and you will succeed! Yes you will indeed! (98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed).....
Jesus is my mountain...He is my rock. I will put Him first and He will work everything else out.
Thank you, Jesus~I love you.