It’s funny how the Lord works and the methods He uses to get my attention. Ever since having Emma I have developed this fear/anxiety about her getting sick. I am sure every mother has that to an extent, but for me, it started to manifest itself physically. The second I think Emma is not herself or not feeling good, my heart would race, my mind would race....I would think of all these "what if’s"....it was a terrible feeling. I would worry and worry and worry (but not pray)....when there was nothing to worry about. Eventually it got to a point where I knew I needed to talk about it. I talked to a few godly people in my life who were able to talk to me about my fears/anxiety and help me develop a healthy way of dealing with these unhealthy thoughts that would creep into my head. It is amazing what a little bit of talking-it-out therapy will do for the soul. I was given some amazing scripture references about anxiety, worry and fear....funny thing is, when I went to go look them up, they were already underlined in my Bible....HELLO! I feel like God is tapping me on my shoulder saying "here I am, I’ve always been here....you just need to call on Me". He wants me to deepen my walk with Him and I believe He is using this fear/anxiety as the tool. He is teaching me to rely and lean more on Him than my own strength....He is my strength. Every time that fear/anxiety starts to creep in, I plan to run to his alive and amazing Word. His Word will meet me right where I am and is applicable to my life now and even 20 years from now. If I look at it all in perspective, Emma being sick is okay–there are babies out there who live in a hospital because if an illness, parents who devote their entire lives to children with handicaps. There are even couples who pray every day to conceive a baby that they only dream about.
To know that I have the great hope of eternity is what I will cling to. Every day here on earth is one day closer to eternity with Jesus--where there is no sickness, pain, fear. I don’t know how anybody can live their life without the saving grace of Jesus. How do un-believers do it? I am way to weak and need a savior–Jesus Christ. So I will set my mind on the things above, I will continue to pray my prayer for Emma’s salvation every night and when the fear and anxiety–devil–start to sneak their way in, I will call out to the One and Only, the Light, my refuge.